Growing a Human: Discovering I was Pregnant

As this is my first baby, who came as a pretty big shock to me and my other half I was not very well prepared for my body thrusting itself into baby-growing mode. I'm a lot further along now and way into my second trimester but I thought I would relay / recap the first trimester and my experience of it on here in a series of posts. First up... finding out!

I discovered I was pregnant in late September 2013. I don't think I'd even missed a period at this point, maybe by a few days but nothing worth worrying over and as I had recently come off the contraceptive pill I was expecting hormonal changes to deal with this anyway. I picked up a cheapy pregnancy test mainly because my boobs had been a bit achey so I wanted to double check before I started a new pill - I was in NO WAY expecting a positive result. For those of you who have done a pregnancy test before, you will know it's a pretty disgusting process involving awkwardly holding a tiny stick into your pee 'stream'... Not too hard really? I somehow managed to mess this process up and held the stick the wrong way round. A VERY faint line came up which indicated I was, in fact, pregnant... Not sure what to believe here, I had to wait until I could go again before carrying out the second test. So I sat around anxiously really believing I couldn't possibly be pregnant for a while. ALAS, that little red line indicated otherwise. My initial reaction was tears, not elation as I would have liked it to be. I automatically assumed I would terminate the baby and was distraught I would have to do such a thing. Having also just moved into a smaller flat and started my degree as well the whole prospect of having a baby seemed very daunting for me and although I feel mature for my age, I definitely did not feel ready to be responsible for another human.

So the boyfriend and I didn't make any decisions straight away. Maybe if we had it would be a different story, but every day we seemed to grow a stronger attachment to the baby. My body instantly felt pregnant, with my achey boobs suddenly feeling more achey, my stomach less settled and myself more exhausted.

My boyfriend told his parents about the baby. I think this was a big influencing factor as they were so supportive. Although they live very close-by, my family are all back in England so knowing I had them to support me when I needed a hand really aided our decision to keep the baby. The thought of parting with him became too awful and I couldn't shake the feeling I'd spend the rest of my life thinking 'What if I didn't?'. So a few afternoons down the line we were talking about our options and both concluded that we would keep it. It was actually really sweet (my boyfriend cried!!) and overwhelmingly lovely, although a scary venture at the same time!

Obviously I am a lot further along now and very happy to be having a little baby boy but a small part of me feels almost a bit guilty for having reacted so badly to the news - it felt like nothing I could have imagined. I am, however, a big believer recently that things ARE happening for a reason (lame, I know) but having had so much shit the few years prior and the weird chain of events that led to me meeting my boyfriend, I do think this must be the right time for us. I'm also really glad we didn't terminate and feel so much more strongly that unless there is significant reasoning why you shouldn't, it shouldn't be done!

Any of you guys been in the same boat?

xxx