The Three Hardest Things I've Done.

Well... this photo is pretty mis-leading right? No I have not joined the armed forces, I just thought it looked pretty badass. 

A bit of a different post today. I sometimes like to think about things I've accomplished to help put the 'bad times' into perspective, when they really aren't that bad. There are three things that really stand out as being the hardest things I've done. I hope this post doesn't come across too 'first world problems', I've been pretty lucky to have not had any really bad tragedy in my life... these are just the things that have presented the biggest challenges to me.

1. Learning to Drive
This may seem like a standard part of growing up or adulthood to most people, but for me learning to drive was my biggest struggle. Some people (especially my boyfriend) struggle to understand driving phobias, but to put it bluntly when I'm driving I feel like I'm in charge of some kind of death machine which I shouldn't be allowed in. I struggled with driving lessons, clocking up about 45 hours between 3 different instructors, and when it came to my driving test I was a nervous wreck. The most nervous I had ever been about anything (and I get nervous a lot...). I was convinced I would fail, that I aggravate other drivers and that I wasn't safe on the roads. I passed my test with only 1 minor, which helped me gain confidence all for about 5 minutes. 1 year down the line and I still HATE driving. I don't think it's something I will ever feel comfortable doing, so actually keeping up with it and finally getting my pink license is definitely the top of my list of hardest things I've done.

2. Giving Birth
I think this one is pretty obvious. Nothing can prepare you for the pain of childbirth. My labour started quickly and I was having frequent contractions for maybe 12 or 13 hours before I went to theatre. I would liken my labour to being stabbed in the stomach with a big rusty pole and being constantly refused the pain relief you know is there. To make matters worse the 3 weeks that followed were filled with agony, being unable to sit down and having my nipples destroyed by a very hungry baby who was causing me agonising pain! He definitely owes me one, that's for sure! (Still not as hard as learning to drive, I hope this helps you to understand how much I hate driving....)!

3. Becoming a Drop Out
Actually, becoming a drop out wasn't that hard. In fact, I was pretty awesome at it. I was really good at not attending lectures and partying every. single. night. But accepting that I was a drop out was a lot harder and trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life. Accepting all the money I wasted on a bit of a degree and deciding to move back to the city to work in a grimy nightclub instead. I'm so so glad I did (I mean, what the hell was I doing to do with a Music and Maths degree anyway? What a waste of time!) I went back to Uni, to do a useful course a few years later when I felt a lot more 'ready' (albeit pregnant....) and it's definitely worked out for the best.

xxx

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